There’s a difference between turning someone away who needs you and letting go so they will find a better life themselves.

Should I stay or should I leave? Should I help or should I let go?

When you love someone, this is hard. I constantly vacillate between the two.

There’s a fine line between letting go and trying to help someone who won’t help themselves. I’ve harshly learned that ultimately the self-destructive person has to alone pick themselves up. They have to alone decide they want better…but more importantly, they have to decide they are sick of what they are doing to destroy themselves. They have to decide this alone.

Self-destructive people are crying out for help. They are hurting inside and have chosen and endless downward spiral way of coping with their pain. Frequently, they dislike who they are and feel they don’t deserve better. But deep within, we all desire to be loved, happy and healthy. We all desire to have a great life. We all are precious to at least one other person. We all have a place and a purpose. We must not forget that we matter.

So do you help or let them go? Often that decision is made for you. When someone is serious about changing their life, they will find a way and nothing will stop them. If they really need you…truly genuinely need you while helping themselves, then that is what unconditional love and thick and thin is all about. But if they are using you, because they know they can, to get through the moment without any real effort or desire to change, then it’s time to let them go until they alone decide they want better.

one person can make a difference

However…one thing to remember. Caring people make a difference. All someone who is struggling may need is just one person who wants to be there for them, who never gives up on them, who sees the potential in them, who values them just the way they are. One person can make such a huge difference that they can turn a live around. This is why I vacillate…because I KNOW this to be true.