A Prescription for Disaster
By: Velinda Peyton
Raising children is the hardest job in the world…except for being a single parent, which is the most commendable of life’s efforts. It goes without saying that all parents who love their children want the best for them. However, albeit a parent may love their children, some parents are weak and give in to their children’s whims.
Giving into a child who expects to always get what they want is likely not in the child’s best interest. Children don’t know what is best for them, and teenagers don’t care what is best for them.
“Children don’t care about what they need…all they want is what they want”
Allowing a child to intimidate, control, or bully you to get what they want is allowing them to abuse you for their own selfish wants. Allowing a child to play on your emotions or threatening self-harm to get what they want is also allowing them to control you. All of this is, in its own way, abuse and should not be tolerated.
This kind of parenting is setting the stage for something much worse than your child getting their wants. Many times these out of control, invincible (or so they think) offspring graduate to drugs and crime.
”Allowing a child to control, intimidate or abuse you in any way to get what they want is a prescription for disaster”
Parents have to be tough. They have to be a strong role model of what is right and just. They have to live and display genuine concern for a child even if the child temporarily “hates” them. They have to say NO! They have to stand firm on their convictions. Parents have to support their children when they are trying to do what’s best, and discourage them from doing what is wrong. If a parent does not exhibit these qualities, your child will not respect you and will continue to use and abuse you to get their way. This kind of relationship between a parent and child is not a close one and will forever be a wedge between you.
“You have to give a child a little of what they want, and a whole lot of what they need”
Also, (and my favorite) continually giving a child money instead of encouraging them to earn it, is raising a child that will not be able to stand on their own as an adult. These children will come to expect their parents to financially bail them out being self-sufficient. They will not be grateful for anything and will become takers who expect others to give to them.
“Loving parents raise their children to be able to stand on their own as an adult”
Children innately respect and love a parent who set boundaries. They know that boundaries are for their own good. Children know right from wrong, values and love. They know that a parent who genuinely loves them will be there for them when they fall.
And in the end, children will come home to that parent, because children KNOW who truly loves them.